Thursday, April 5, 2018

Movies That Suck Tremors

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Movies That Suck is a feature where I watch a bad movie and share my reactions to it in real time. Sort of like live tweeting without the tweeting. I watch it so you don't have to! This will be spoilery I guess by definition, but since you probably won't want to watch these anyway it probably won't matter? But heads up anyways. So get comfortable, grab a favorite beverage, and let me tell you about a movie that sucks. 

This week is Tremors, a thoroughly ridiculous film about creatures under the ground who eat people. Why? Who knows. I guess it's sort of a cult classic? Those are always good so now I'm intrigued. Plus Kevin Bacon is in it. I mean what more do you need? Let's see how bad it is.  

It's pretty bad. Anytime the lead starts the movie by taking a piss you know you're in trouble. But I'm already committed. And look who else is in it? Fred Ward as Earl. Fred Ward was always in loser movies so this one will definitely suck. Oh and Kevin Bacon's character is named Valentine *rolls eyes*. Man he was young here though. So these two clowns are "handymen" doing odd jobs out in the desert- I guess- and after some shitty early dialogue we meet Rhonda Lebeck, a grad student who is studying seismology. All by herself. She's getting some strange readings on her seismographs. That's a shocker right? Valentine was hoping for a blonde grad student this time around, so he's initially not interested (which means of course they'll be together by the end). Oh, and he's not shallow or anything. 

The boys pull into the town of Perfection, population 14. They stop at some dump store called Chang's and we meet a survivalist couple- Burt and Heather (and Heather is played by Reba McEntire- what's she doing in this??) The boys are emptying someone's septic tank, so yeah they're doing really well in their life choices. Apparently they do all the shit jobs in town (see what I did there?) Rhonda meanwhile has her first encounter with... whatever is underground, but she doesn't see it as she drives off.   

So the boys are setting their sights higher and leave town for someplace called Bixby, where presumably their fortunes will improve, but they pass a guy they know named Edgar up on a power pole, so they stop to see what he's doing. Turns out he's dead- died of thirst. What was he doing up there? Hmm. And we get our first casualty, as some old guy gets sucked under the earth while his sheep go crazy. The boys are driving by his place later and find his body, and all the sheep are dead too. Well, not his body per se- just his face sticking up out of the sand. Apparently the rest of him is gone... 

The town's all worked up now, all dozen or so of 'em, so the boys decide to get help... but the road out of town is blocked by a rock fall. The road crew that was working there are sadly no longer with us. The boys get stuck briefly trying to get away, and when they get back to Chang's they realize some slug thing is wrapped around their truck axle. Burt the survivalist helpfully opines that it could be a mutant. Meanwhile the killings continue, and since this is before the era of cell phones, they're isolated. The boys decide to ride for Bixby since Chang has horses, but they don't get very far. Earl loses his horse and they barely survive an attack by a very big worm. And Rhonda shows up too. 

Apparently the monsters are called graboids? Thanks to Amazon for that little factoid. The graboid killed itself by running into a concrete wall while chasing the boys, but Rhonda (the smart one) figures out there are at least three more. You know, as an aside, Kevin Bacon's hair is kinda distracting in this movie. I bet they spent a lot of time on it. Anyway the three of them are stuck on a big rock with another graboid just waiting for them to make a move. Apparently they sense vibrations or some such nonsense- really, stop trying to "explain" the things. I mean, they're graboids??



So conveniently enough there are some long poles at the base of the rock, and Rhonda has the idea to pole vault from rock to rock until they reach her truck, I shit you not. I said she was the smart one. Back at Chang's place they debate what to do while Chang and some brat kid try to decide what to call the beasties. Melvin (the kid) almost gets eaten, and then a big ass graboid attacks and starts wrecking the town. Rhonda gets her feet caught in some barb wire fencing and Valentine comes to the rescue. "Get out of your pants," he tells her. Yes, she has to take off her pants to get free. *Sigh*

So she has cuts on her legs from the attack and Val is helpfully applying iodine or whatever, while Earl kinda looks on. Um, creeper much? Thankfully they find her some replacement pants, after spending a little time showing off her legs. It's not long before there's another attack, and sadly Chang is pulled to his doom. So now they're on the roof of the store, except for Rhonda who's on the water tower. Burt and Heather (the survivalists) are back and when the graboids go for them, they're in their element as they're loaded for bear. They've got an arsenal in their basement and they blow the shit out of it basically. Go Reba!!  



Score one for the survivalists. But they're still in deep shit, trapped on the roofs. I keep hoping Melvin will get killed, he's a little jerk and he hid when Rhonda was in trouble. So now the plan is to get to the tractor, apparently, and use that to get to safety. Val goes for it and makes it- barely- and so far so good. What are the survivalists doing though? Loading ammo big time. Okay they're all in the bulldozer thingie and headed for the safety of the mountains, but... it's not that easy. The graboids dug a trap and the bulldozer's stuck. 

Now they're stuck on rocks again. They manage to blow one up- this is making me want to be a prepper- but the last one is smart, ya'll. It's not falling for their tricks. Val has an idea though- they're by a cliff, and if they get the graboid to chase them really fast, maybe it'll go over the edge? Is this roughly the same spot where he was taking a piss at the beginning? I do believe.  

Okay so they made it. And Val works up his courage and kisses Rhonda. I'm not really feeling those two but you knew it had to happen. To be honest I'm shocked that this inspired, what, like 15 sequels? Still, it was moderately fun? But it's over. 

Thankfully.  

45 comments:

  1. NOW I remember it, yeah, I have watched it

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  2. Bahahahaha! I LOVED THIS MOVIE! SO CAMPY! I don't know how many times the ex and I watched it. Heh heh. It was one of those movies that every time we saw it was playing on tv we had to watch at least a little bit of it. Did Amazon say anything about a sequel? XD

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    1. Dude there are a ton of sequels! I think- at least three or more? Should I watch them? Kidding!!!

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    2. I need to watch them. Ha ha. XD

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  3. I totally love this film and watch it and the second one a lot! The only thing I didn't like was the dumb love story running through it.

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    1. Yeah I wasn't feeling the love...

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  4. LMAO! I saw this YEARS ago and had forgotten some of the hilarious nuggets this film has to offer. It's SO BAD. I forgot Reba was in this... seriously, what is she doing in this film?

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  5. Wow, I have seen this a few times over the years and remember loving it! When it came out it was pretty popular, but I can see now why it "sucks," lol. I do not remember the pole vaulting!

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    1. Oh the pole vaulting *grinning* that was inspired! It's actually a fun movie, for all my slamming it...

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  6. I have to disagree with your review, but did find it humorous! I never really understood why suddenly these creatures were coming out of the ground, intent on inhaling man-flesh, but it never stopped me from enjoying the movie (several times!). Happy to have found your blog and looking forward to reading through some of the archives.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by, happy to have you visit! And the point of these posts is the movies might not ACTUALLY suck ha ha but I have a little fun. :) I'm actually really enjoying them! And judging from comments it sounds like a lot of readers love this movie!

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  7. I'm a fan of great :bad: movies. LOL I really liked the first two. Maybe the third also? After that, not so mcuh. I do have all of them LOL

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    1. It is a great bad movie! And it was fun. I think it's awesome you have them! Should I watch 2??

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  8. Much as I loved your review, I'm afraid to admit I really liked the first Tremors movie. OK, so it was predictable (although surely you couldn't predict the rock vaulting????) and the 'monsters' were in the days when effects were laughably unrealistic, it was still entertaining. Or maybe I just like movies that suck ha ha ha.

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    1. A lot of people did. I feel bad now for savaging it :) And no, the rock vaulting was NOT predictable and actually quite inspired!

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  9. I loved reading your thoughts. I thought the first one was entertaining enough but I think it's because I used to like Kevin Bacon. However, reading your thoughts, it's a good thing he went on to do other things because Tremors definitely could have been a career breaker...must have been the hair!

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    1. Kevin Bacon was great! And as much as I ripped on it, it WAS fun to watch. I love that Tremors did NOT hurt his career!!

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  10. I remember seeing this one about a billion times as a kid. It’s so stupid it’s almost awesome.

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  11. lol don't think I knew about this one

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  12. WHyyy were there a bunch of sequels? I mean, even if this ended up being mildly entertaining... just no. Kevin Bacon's hair IS distracting, in its resting state yes, but extra when it flaps in the wind. And Reba McEntire!? That's like, the Betty White equivalent of this movie! (Incidentally, I feel like Reba looks better now than she did 30 years ago, so props to her.) Pole vaulting!? Really? There is so much wrong with that entire scene that I am not touching it hahha. This is all just too funny!

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  13. I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!! It is so terrible, it is awesome. I vaguely remember the second one also being "good", and possibly the third. But this one will always be my fave. So bad. so, so bad. I LOVE IT!

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  14. Thanks for visiting my blog yesterday!

    Oh yes, I kinda like this film, because it's so bad lol It does have exciting moments, but it's mostly comical.

    Definitely a comedy horror!

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  15. Noooo Tremors is so much fun! EMBRACE THE CAMP (and Kevin Bacon's fab 90's hair). I will die on this hill, particularly if it's comprised of fluvial soil perfect for graboids to move through.

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  16. As always I love your movie reviews. Thank goodness Kevin Bacon continued to grow his movie career.(lol) It's hard to believe that this movie actually had a budget of $10,000,000-$11,000,000, and earned almost $17 million. This wasn't one of my faves either.(lol) Hugs...RO

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  17. Graboids... Haha! It's been far too long since I've last seen this movie. :)

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  18. Wow and lol - I don't remember this movie but you're right about his hair. And what WAS Reba doing in this movie?
    Jen Ryland Reviews

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  19. You just know that whoever came up with this idea was thinking "Hmm, how do we cash in on the success of Jaws, but make the movie ON LAND!" This movie is just too campy for me to hate though, I still love watching it for the nostalgia every once in a while. The arsenal scene with the survivalists has always been my favorite. It's like, you knew they were obsessed, but then they pan to the guns and it's like WOW! And the two of them actually go and take down one of the creatures themselves, lol.

    ~Mogsy @ BiblioSanctum

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  20. I have to admit that I have watched this movie. Several times. My husband likes this movie and tends to stop on it if he finds it while flipping channels. It is quite silly but kind of fun. He likes Reba so there is that. I would be okay never watching it again. Great post!

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  21. Bahaha. Somehow I managed to miss watching this one - THANK GOODNESS! I loved the commentary!

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  22. Kevin Bacon's hair!!!! LOLOLOL Way too funny.

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  23. I loved this movie as a teen. My daughter and I love b list movies and horrible monster movies. They are fun to us of course as a teen it may have just been Kevin bacon aspect for me. It is andumb movie but I enjoyed it. And yes his hair is a little distracting. Even though I loved it. There should have only been one.

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  24. I am pretty sure I saw this back in the day, but I can’t remember it at all Not sure if that is a good or bad thing.

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  25. The funny thing is that I instantly recognize this movie if it is on when I am flipping through channels. I always stop and watch a little. LOL

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  26. I think I've watched this one and most of the sequels. lol I kinda like it though. There's another movie called The Sand (Blood Sand) that is a lot like this one but worst. I don't know what's with the two titles, I guess they couldn't make up their minds.

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  27. lol I used to love Tremors when I was little, I'd watch it over and on over on the VCR. Yay Reba! Literally none of it makes much sense and the monsters are so gross but I love Kevin Bacon. Fun post!

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  28. I thought I had left a comment the other day...guess not lol

    I loved the first Tremors movie (still do) but the later ones are pretty bad. Not in a good way either.

    Karen @ For What It's Worth

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  29. I haven't seen this one but any movie from Kevin Bacon at this time is kind of iffy! That hair is awful! I wonder what they were going for with that. This does sound really terrible but maybe a little fun and despite some of his unfortunate movie choices I do love Kevin Bacon! I'm not sure if that's enough to make me want to sit through the whole thing.

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  30. Reba is in a lot of random stuff. She was even in the most recent (and terrible) Land Before Time movie.

    This was a fun read!

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  31. What a great review! I don't remember this one as I know I saw it, maybe it when first came out. I'm not sure. Didn't see the rest of them, for obvious reasons!

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  32. Haha, Kevin Bacon's hair was so crazy 80's in this movie. I was surprised by how bored I was when I tried to rewatch this recently.

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  33. Oh my gosh... I remember watching this with a babysitter. I think she had been trying to scare me. But I remember laughing during the movie. I gotta re-watch this sometime!

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  34. Ha! I haven't seen this for ages - I should do a rewatch! XD

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