He fell to one knee as he came through the Gate. The nausea was worse than ever and it took a moment to catch his breath. He looked around and to his left was water, as far as the eye could see. The booming of the surf was at least familiar, and the sky looked more or less the right shade. To the right was jungle, a riotous profusion of sound and color. Tropical, he thought with a smile. You always could pick 'em, Anna.
So, first things first. He checked his weapon, wincing at the charge on his pulse rifle, and checked his other stuff. Everything seemed in order. He scanned the area, carefully looking for any sign of movement or hostiles but could see nothing other than various birds. He looked back at the Gate and saw that it was quiet now, maybe inert. Thank you, he mouthed to anyone who was listening, and then sat down with his back to it, exhausted. He felt like shit.
Later he stirred- had he fallen asleep?- and noticed the day seemed to have moved on. He was sore but otherwise feeling better, so he got to his feet with a grimace and started moving. The jungle was the same everywhere he looked, and the beach he was on seemed to be a sheltered cove, he could see the headland forming a sort of half moon. Cozy. He skirted the jungle for a bit, looking for any sign, but there was nothing. Then he saw it. Something sticking up from the sand. Was it... yes! A proximity alarm. Hope flared in his chest- it had to be Anna! Who else? The beacon had brought him here, to this place... it had to be her.
As he approached and looked it over he could now see two others, half hidden by foliage. So someone clearly wanted to know if anyone came through the Gate. No doubt the alarm had already gone off, somewhere. Was there a base here? Heart racing, he plunged into the trees and thought about calling out, but decided against it. Not a smart thing to do. He wouldn't go far, but he needed to know if she was close. The day was hot and insects were everywhere, he had to swat them out of his eyes. With all the thrashing he was doing she would probably hear him coming a mile away.
The ground began to rise and the trees thinned, and he quickened his pace. There were some heights ahead and he hoped he was going the right way. He could see something else now, as well. They looked like towers, in the distance, over the treetops. Strange though- they had a different shape, almost domed at the top. Hard to tell for sure though in the haze. He turned in that direction, wondering exactly where this was. What planet was he on? He went a little farther, trying to decide if he should go back, let her come to him, and was just about to turn back when he came into a cleared area. It had clearly been carved out of the surrounding jungle, and he immediately knew what it was. So there was a remote base here after all.
No sign of activity, all was quiet. He was scouting the area with his eyes, from the treeline, when he saw someone. In the entryway. Quiet and partially in shadow. Probably watching him. He hadn't exactly been quiet. He squinted, trying to get a better look. Was it her? He decided on the direct approach. Slinging his rifle over his shoulder, he came out of the trees slowly, hands up. He could see that whoever it was, they were armed. The weapon was definitely pointed at him. He swallowed and kept on. Somehow he knew. As he approached the weapon lowered, and he heard an intake of breath. Then she came to meet him.
I've said this before, but I'm really glad you're sharing more of your work. In the past... three or four posts? I really think your writing is improving (not that I thought it had to from the first flash fic I read, but you know what I mean?).ReplyDelete
I like that this one really built tension and your descriptions were so vivid that I felt like I could really get a handle on the visualisation without looking at an inspiration shot. Well done! When can we expect more ;) (no pressure)
Thank you! I'm a firm believer that we get better through doing, and yeah even the few of these I have done, I do think I've gotten better. So thanks!Delete
And I'm glad there was some tension, I was afraid with this one that it would be a comedown from the pace of the third one (and the second). But I also like how he's totally alone... until he finds her. :)
i really really like your descriptions. And I loved how I was in the clouds with the descriptions and then BAM! "He felt like shit!" brought me back to earth LOL! HE IS BALLSY!!! Why on hell is he approaching the entrance like that?? He is gonna get himself killed. BUT it's the kinda of hero I like ;-)ReplyDelete
Thanks! Yeah I wondered about that line but I wanted him to feel real. And ha ha he might get himself killed!Delete
omg you are gonna kill characters! this is gonna get so good! :)Delete
I could feel the suspense. And the descriptions of the jungle, heat and insects put me right in the thick of it. I'm very curious what happens now that he found Anna. What planet are they on, and what's up with those towers. Solid writing, Greg:)ReplyDelete
Thanks Laura! Means a lot. I'm glad you felt some tension there... and I had a lot of thought about where to put him next. :)Delete
The towers will play a role. :)
YES, I'm so happy to have another chapter! This is wonderful; you always paint such a vivid, beautiful picture with your writing. I could practically feel the heat and hear the insects. I'm really glad he's found Anna, but I'm curious to see what exactly will happen between the two of them next. I'm also intrigued by those towers. I can't wait for the next post! Awesome job, Greg :-)ReplyDelete
I enjoy these very much, as well, Greg; but Mckenzie always swipes the laptop from me before I have a chance to comment myself. Lol. I've reclaimed it now, though. Beautiful work! Let us know when you publish so we can have a copy for our shelves :)
Thank you! I appreciate that! I put a lot of thought into where he'd end up and there were a lot of possibilities. And I like having them together- next up: the towers. I actually really like #5 because they debate the way forward and, well, you'll see. :)Delete
And thank you Michele as well. Incredibly kind words! I'm glad you're both enjoying, and it means a lot that you're coming back. :)
Ohhh YAY! I am so glad they finally reconnect! Though... maybe she is not as happy to see HIM. Or, maybe she must confess about her timeless love affair with Alexander Hamilton. There's a reason he didn't pop out of the jungle, after all ;) And other PLANETS, too? This has gotten quite interesting!! Can't wait for more :)ReplyDelete
She's afraid to tell him about Hamilton, her long- lost love of the ages. Maybe Hamilton is conspiring to keep them apart? I have a love TRIANGLE!! Such angst. I must rewrite... :)Delete
Thanks, there are other planets!!
Oh I'm missing something. This is awesome, Greg. I need to read the previous posts. You are an awesome storyteller, Greg. Really fantastic. :)ReplyDelete
I hope you like! Thanks for reading.Delete
Your writing flows really well! Another interesting addition to the story. I wonder what they'll get up to now that they've found each other...ReplyDelete
Thanks. I wanted to get them together, now I gotta think what comes next. :)Delete
I am getting lots of posts on bloglovin all the sudden, sigh. AT least yours are not a week oldReplyDelete
You're doing so great with these. Nice to get the next little bit of their story :)ReplyDelete
I'm so happy to see that you've shared more of On the Run. I've said it before, but I really love your writing style. The descriptions are fantastic - so vivid but not overdone at all. As I'm reading, I have such a clear picture of the setting. It's like I'm watching a film. Love it and hope to read more of this.ReplyDelete
I am glad I have another installment to read right away with that ending! Thanks for sharing your writing. :)ReplyDelete