Tuesday, April 25, 2023

Movies That Suck Food of the Gods

Movies That Suck is a feature where I watch a bad movie and share my reactions to it in real time. Sort of like live tweeting without the tweeting. I watch it so you don't have to! This will be spoilery I guess by definition, but since you probably won't want to watch these anyway it probably won't matter? But heads up anyways. So get comfortable, grab a favorite beverage, and let me tell you about a movie that sucks.

So we start off with a relaxing trip to the country- an island- for some relaxation. Nice shot of the very misty island. Morgan a football player who's on the island for some rest. Him and some buddies are chasing a deer on horseback- why?- along with some dogs. Do they think they're English gentlemen pretending to fox hunt? Anyway after they corner the deer Morgan's ready to let it go, but his friend decides to keep chasing. Bad idea. 

The dogs are like ????? 

So he gets bucked and guess what? He gets buzzed by giant wasps. That one's bigger than shit. See what happens when you fuck with the deer? Morgan goes for help and finds an unhelpful lady named Mrs. Skinner. What's in her barn though? A huge chicken, that's what! Mrs. Skinner chooses not to assist. He manages to kill it with a pitchfork, thankfully. He proceeds to ask the missus where the $%%^ she got the chickens. 

Ten minutes in and two encounters- this show is moving. 

So... the food she's been giving the chickens comes out of the ground and she thinks it's from the Lord. There's a wasp eating some right now. She reminds me of Betty White's character from Lake Placid. 

Do they... have his body in the back of their Jeep? Aye, they do. No cell- I guess they just take him back across in the ferry and report him deceased. Seems like the local constabulary would take a dim view of that. 

It looks like Mrs. Skinner has a wee bit of rat trouble. 

Ewww. Scratch rats, she's got some huge ass grubs biting her. 

There's a storm... naturally lol. 

Mr. Skinner goes off the road... has a flat. 

Goodbye dude. 

The rats are as big as the frickin car. 

Jack and his assistant Lorna are driving in the island and he drives right past Skinner's car (with the door ripped off) and doesn't think to stop. They pass a pregnant couple too stranded off the road and keep driving. 

He's not nice. 

They show up at the Skinner residence to find the chickens slaughtered. Apparently Jack wants the crazyass food. Mrs. Skinner wants her husband back. So the food gurgles up out of the ground like some goop. 

Morgan and his friend Brian are back on island. They encounter the stranded couple and seem skeptical of their story of giant rats. 

The wasps meanwhile are at Skinner's farm. 

Dang, he's a good shot, blowing those things out of the air. 

Pregnant couple are arguing about whether it matters if they're married or not. Cultural issue- this was mid 70's. 

So they found the nest. 

Why didn't they find Skinner's wreck? 

So they explode the nest but poor Lorna fell down the rats' hole. That of course goes ass up. 

Now the rats are everywhere. Pregger couple make it to the farmhouse and their camper is toast. 

Why aren't they getting the pregnant woman to help? 

Oh, it's on now. Attack of the rats! This is interesting too because Brian didn't want to go and now Brian is... rat food.

Jack is saying something right finally. They need to vamoose. 

Here come the rats! 

Why are they not leaving? 

Mrs. Skinner is toast. 

They blow a dam and we have CGI water (well not CGI since this is 76) and we are giving birth. Not your usual birthing environment. The rats are persistent. That birth seems... easy. I'm not sure why the rats would be so fixated on one farmhouse. Luckily the floodwaters take care of everything. the rats are too heavy to swim? 

The baby seems chilled. 

Aftermath- time to burn all the rats. And... all the goop maybe. But wait... some of the goop washed downstream. Some kids at school drink some milk from cows who drank... The Food of the Gods!


  1. The movie might be awful but your description is hilarious!

  2. I really enjoyed the original story by Wells. From what I remember though, it had almost nothing to do with this movie. Kind of like "I, Robot" in that regard.

    And I don't care how big a rat is, it can swim. And it will try to eat you :-D

  3. This is a combo of a lot of bad, bad, bad movies. Husband loves these things. One thing that is missing: blond teen girl in a bikini. Every bad movie has to have one. Attack of the Killer Donuts is a sample.

  4. Uy no la he visto gracias a Dios. Te mando un beso.

  5. I have never even heard of this one

  6. I had already convinced myself to stay away from this movie as soon as my eyes fell on the poster . . A giant rat? I'll pass! But I have to admit that your comments about this kind of movie always make me laugh, Greg, so thanks for sharing this terrible movie with us, LOL

  7. Haha, I'd never heard of this movie but now I'm glad I don't have to watch it!

  8. Don't fuck with the deer, it might lead to giant rats - life lesson lol I don' think I've seen this one before. I used to watch all these kinds of movies with my mom when I was little.

    Karen @For What It's Worth

  9. That clip from the movie... the dude told him not to stop and get out of the Jeep. And the guy survives and the guy who warned him dies. Now that's just not fair. I call shenanigans. lol

  10. So many questions but I suspect the answers won't make much sense. This sounds completely bonkers! I always wonder about all the people involved in the movie actually getting made. Did no one stop and look at it and go wow this is truly terrible?

  11. Thank you for saving me from watching this one. That one clip is more than enough, haha.

  12. I don't think I have ever seen this movie. 😆 And Ida Lupino? It's crazy that her career sunk that low. Thanks for the play by play. Now I won't have to watch it. 😅

  13. I've never heard of this movie, but it sounds exactly like the kind of film that belonged on an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

  14. Haha, I have been waiting for this! Oh boy, it looks like a doozy, wow! XD

  15. This is hysterical! I have never heard of this movie. But I love the way the scene with the rats attacking just keeps going on and on and on...