Wednesday, June 9, 2021

Movies That Suck Repo Man


Movies That Suck returns after a long hiatus! For those who don't know Movies That Suck is where I watch a film that you won't want to. Although... quite a few of my selections have turned out to be... pretty good? So you never can tell for sure. This one though... trust me. Probably not great. 

This time it's... Repo Man! 

So without further commentary- here we go. 

This starts off with a jam. I guess the whole soundtrack is punk 80's style. And the intro is kinda cool- we have a map showing the route the car takes- from Los Alamos in New Mexico to California. Iggy Pop does the theme. So anyway this Malibu is driving erratically down a desert highway and the driver gets pulled over. The driver- Parnell- is off, talking to himself. When the cop asks what's in the trunk, the driver tells him- 

"You don't want to look in there." 

Right. 

The cop of course does just that- looks back there- and whatever is in the trunk vaporizes him, leaving only his boots. Woot! Alright, I'm getting a beer and settling in with this one! 

We meet Otto (a very 1985 Emilio Estevez) who's working in some dump supermarket and he gets fired. Punkers! Otto's at a party and his girlfriend is sleeping with someone else- a guy named Duke- so Otto's like f this. He goes on a bender- we're supposed to feel sorry for him- and he meets a repo man named Bud (played by the awesomest Harry Dean Stanton). 

Bud spins him some bullshit story and tricks Otto into repo-ing a Cutlass. Meanwhile some chica upstairs is like some gringo is taking our car lol. Welcome to repo school.  

Bud works for Helping Hand Acceptance Corp. I guess Otto does now too. This crew. Only in the eighties did they make shows like this. 

So the government agents are investigating the deceased cop and their intel indicates that their quarry is 44% likely to be in L.A. When asked what could have happened to the cop, the lead agent replies

"People just explode."

Wow, some things never change. Otto returns home to find his parents enthralled by a televangelist- this was the eighties- and the guy is railing against communism and liberal humanism. Kinda like now! The televangelist is telling his audience to go ahead and mortgage their home, sell their car- they don't really need a car, right?- and send him the money! Meanwhile, Otto asks his parents about a $1,000 they promised him if he'd finish school. Oops. They sent that money to their favorite televangelist... 

Repo time. 

So our Malibu comes rolling into L.A. right past some government spooks in hazmat suits. 

So this viaduct situation looks just like the place from To Live and Die in LA. 

So Duke and crew are robbing a place and I feel like they're gonna keep turning up. Otto tries to repo a car and gets maced for his trouble. Later he picks up a chick named Leila. Who happens to be on the run from the government agents. She shows him a picture of four dead aliens- that's what they're after. 

Oh, and apparently the "tree" air freshener company was sponsoring this movie- that must be why these fucking air fresheners keep showing up constantly? 

So Leila and Otto get it on in the back seat in broad daylight after knowing each other for ten minutes? 

The Malibu comes across the wire for the repo agency. $20 grand for it. 


The agents are bugging Leila so they're on to Otto now after he makes contact. Some rival repo men take the Malibu, and there are noises coming from the back? Don't check that trunk! Oh, never mind- Debbi and Duke steal it. And Otto gets in a shoot out on a repo caper. Leila gets kidnapped by the spooks, and when the repo guys wanna know who fucked up our boy Otto (who got his ass beat trying to get a car) he gives them his former boss lmao. 

Okay so Leila and Otto meet up with the head agent- she has a metal hand?- and Duke and crew as well.  And Bud's crew come across the rival repo'ers and the Malibu- it's time! The Malibu gets away though- they can't do anything right??? We see guys in hazmats taking away dead winos? Back up- why were they meeting with the agents if... nothing happened? 

I feel like this movie is slowing down some. But then Otto sees the Malibu! He's puking too- radiation??? He manages to catch up to the car- the driver dies- and the car is recovered! Except then someone steals it. Bud and Otto get in a shoot out at a liquor store- Duke too- and the security guard in the liquor store is the same security guard when Otto got fired at the beginning. 

They're burning the body of the driver. And the agents are back- Otto is captured and the head agent tells him they'll have to torture him. Leila helps. This is crazy. They're busting into a hospital?? Oh, I guess Bud's still alive. Here comes the Malibu! It's glowing!!!!!!!! 


So... does this one suck? That would be an undisputed YES. But... it's also in the top ten cult movies of all time, apparently? And... it has its charms. Skewers 80's society. I feel like this is absolutely worth watching- it's got a vibe and killer punk soundtrack. 

Enjoy!   

17 comments:

  1. This made me chuckle, mainly because I've been watching a much older Emilio Estevez in the new Mighty Ducks series on Disney Plus. I think it's the first time I've watched him in anything since this movie came out, lol.

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  2. I've never seen this movie, but unfortunately it sounds like the kind of thing my husband would watch on a Saturday night!

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  3. Wow it's been years since I've watched this. And congrats for sitting through it, I remember it being pretty bad🤣

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  4. Yay for another Movies that Suck post! They always make me smile. :)

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  5. Despite the cult status, I've never seen this one. It sounds fun, though. :)

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  6. THAT was an awesome recap and review!!

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  7. I've never watched this. It didn't look like a movie that I would enjoy. lol

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  8. We tried to watch this one a few years ago but, we gave up :) (You do write an awesome movie review.)

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  9. I've never even heard of this one - might have to try it too!

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  10. I used to have an Estevez crush :D

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  11. Wow, this is an actual series! Something to look forward to. And I hope you'll have a blast laughing through these.

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  12. Okay I am laughing my face off at the poster alone 😂😂😂 I loved me some Emilio Estevez back in his Mighty Ducks days! (I did not, like the above commenters, have a crush on him, because I was busy having an epic crush on Vincent Larusso, the guy who played Adam Banks. He was my first crush hah. Emilio was an "old" by the time I knew who he was- funny how much difference a few years makes 😂)

    Also VERY glad that MTS is back- I have missed living vicariously through your questionable movie choices 😂 This one sounds a MESS bwahhaha.

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  13. Hahaha oh God, I've missed these posts! Wow, this one does sound pretty bad, but it gave me a heck of a good laugh. Even the tagline is a gem ;)

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  14. I never got around to this one, but I do love 80s punk! :)

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  15. Emilio! Oh man, I had a big crush on him. I remember at one point, renting all his movies that I could find at Blockbuster haha! I never got around to this one though. I might have to check it out just because he's in it haha! Love this post by the way!

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  16. I can't even believe I watched this when it first aired on HBO! 😛

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